Day 33: The First Wall

I really wanted to cheat today.

Like, really.

I’m exhausted from camping. I know that’s probably not supposed to happen, but a combination of staying up too late, sleeping fitfully, not drinking enough water, and eating too much sodium has caught up with me. So yeah, I’m dragging…but it’s Day 33, and I’m stubborn, so I can’t quit now.¬†Tonight’s inner monologue went something like this:

In 15 minutes I’m going to go walk on the treadmill. I’ve done a lot of yoga lately.

25 minutes later……

I reeeally don’t want to walk. I don’t have the energy. Maybe I should just skip tonight.

I can’t skip tonight. It’s Day 33, and it’s only 15 minutes. I’ll just do yoga.

I don’t have any 15 minute yoga videos. I have a 20 minute and a 10 minute. The 20 minute is too similar to what I did camping. I’ll do the 10 minute twice. It’s a PM refresher, it’s gentle.

Halfway through the PM refresher, the first time….

Maybe I’ll just restart it so I’m only doing 15 minutes instead of 20. But that’s cheating.

Minute 8 of the PM refresher, the first time….

Maybe I’ll just do it once and say I did it twice. My blog readers will never know. But I’ll know.

The end of the PM refresher, the first time….

Maybe I’ll just pause it and lie here for 5 minutes in this pose. It’s so relaxing, and that’s important. But that’s lazy. And still cheating.

Halfway through the PM refresher, the second time….

Wow, that left hamstring is a lot tighter than the right.

Minute 8 of the PM refresher, the second time….

I’ve done a lot of yoga lately. It’s not strenuous, but it’s important. It’s good for my body, because it’s calming and helping me be more flexible. Nothing to be ashamed of for doing yoga.

The end of the PM refresher, the second time….

Wow, this is over. I just made it through another day’s workout. Who cares if it’s not a sweaty workout?

As I was nearing the end of the second PM refresher, it occurred to me that even though it’s not a strenuous cardio workout, doing yoga is benefiting me. I feel calmer after I do it. I’m slowly getting stronger and more flexible. I can hold poses longer, I can reach farther, and I can actually semi-lower myself down in Chaturanga Dandasana instead of just flopping to the floor. Maybe I’m not leaner, maybe I’m not the perfect yogi….but I ENJOY it, and I like the way it makes me feel.

And tonight, well….I needed something easy. I’ve been hard on my body these last few days, and if there’s one thing I’ve learned over the last year or so, it’s that I need to listen. So I did.

yoga2

This last week or so has been really hard to stay motivated. I’ve found myself wanting to quit, wanting to skate by. So I’ve done a lot of yoga. At first I thought that was kind of a cop out. Now….now, I think maybe that was what I needed. I can’t say that tomorrow will be different, that I’ll be ready to run again. It might be another yoga day, it might not. But whatever it is, it’ll be something….and that’s enough.

dontgiveup

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