I haven’t posted in a while.
Truthfully, I had some rough days. Days where everything sucked and I just wanted to hate life. Days where I wanted to disappear. Days where, yes, I drowned my sorrows in wine or yoga (or sometimes both).
It wasn’t pretty.
But, as all things do, it passed easily enough. I’m over myself, and over hating things instead of changing them. While I was in my funk, I realized that I have all these things I want to do, and I’ve just been…..not doing them. Many of them there’s no reason, other than being lazy. Which then made me miserable, and made me hate myself even more, and then made me less likely to do them. It’s much more fun to sulk, isn’t it?
I tried to stay away so my sulky mood wouldn’t sully anyone else’s. I shut down, pulled away, and closed off so I wouldn’t bother anyone with my problems. And boy, that worked. *Snort*
When I finally did talk to someone, imagine what happened….I felt better. It didn’t change anything, but suddenly I didn’t feel so lonely. I felt like I had people in my corner, people who actually would care if I weren’t in their lives. Who’d miss me if I just picked up and left town…or just stayed in bed for the rest of the year.
So that’s where I’ve been. And now I have about 6 posts to catch up on. Oy.
But it hasn’t been all bad. I’ve kept up with my 100 Days of Fitness, I’ve tried some new recipes, and I even taught myself to knit. I figured that was a fairly easy thing to knock off my Up In Smoke list, so I took my not-so-happy self down to Hobby Lobby….where I spent 2 hours trying to decide on a yarn to buy.
In case anyone is thinking about following my lead, here’s a little advice. LISTEN TO EVERY SINGLE PERSON WHO TELLS YOU TO GET THICK YARN. I didn’t. It’s turning out ok, but I could have saved myself some headache if I’d just had enough sense to pony up for the thick yarn. I chose alpaca, and while it’s absolutely beautiful yarn, it’s also a pain in the ass to work with (at least for someone who’s never knitted). Anyway, there are a lot of great YouTube videos, but I highly recommend having access to a knitter who can tell you why you’ve managed to get your yarn stuck on the needles and what to do about it.
I’ve got a long way to go, but I’m working on a scarf. Linda was kind enough to offer a few knitting pointers over wine and Subway one exciting Friday night.
And I’m now happy to report that not only does it not take me as long or look as bad, I’ve made some much better progress on my scarf.
Sorry the yarn doesn’t photograph well. Actually, I’m sure it’s operator error, but I’m too lazy to try to fix it.
So I learned to knit, which means I can mark another item on my list as in progress! And a bonus? I now have a semi-useful skill for the zombie apocalypse. I may not be able to hunt zombies with any reliability, but I can make you a scarf. As long as you don’t need it in the next 6 months, because that’s no doubt how long it’s going to take me to do it.
In all honesty this may turn into a coaster or something along that line. I wish I’d cast on some more rows to make it wider. It’s not really adequate scarf size in my book. And yeah, it’s still pretty rough, but that’s beside the point. The point is….I’m KNITTING!!!!
Who wants a scarf?!