Tag Archives: 4th of July

Birthday Schmirthday

Mark it in your calendars. July 6th. Be ready for it next year, cause it’s gonna be the big one. Next year I turn 30. I’m already planning.

You think I’m kidding, but I’m not. I’m also not telling you the details. Yet.

Because first, I want to share this year’s birthday festivities…..

***WARNING***

Long post with lots of pictures ahead.

Let’s set the record straight. This birthday kinda sucked. The actual birthday, not the days surrounding it. Jimmie and I are 3 days apart (his is the 9th, and he DID turn 30 this year) so we decided to go for a joint celebration. Nothing wild and crazy, just a good time out with some close friends.

Oh, but wait….I can’t skip the 4th.

Because the 4th of July is one of my favorite holidays. It’s right before my birthday, it’s hot, there’s fireworks, and I can eat as many hot dogs as I want. Oh, and there’s beer. And sparklers. Did I mention the sparklers?

AND THIS YEAR IT RAINED ALL DAMN DAY.

On the 4th of July. It rained. All. Damn. Day.

Seriously, how is that even possible??

So it rained, which meant we didn’t get to go out on the lake, which meant we were all a little cranky and bored. About 4:00 we decided to get together at 7:00 for an impromptu BBQ and board game night. At 5:30 I got in the shower. At 6:15 we left for the grocery store to buy said BBQ necessities. Whoops.

And then we got all the way through Kroger without buying hamburger meat. Had everything else, but no meat. Emergency ghetto-grocery store stop.

As it turns out, I’m the only person I know who likes mustard potato salad. So I got the entire 3 pound tub to myself. And I ate every last bite of it over the last week. I bet you thought I was going to say I ate it all that night. Give me a little credit. That’s not fearless, that’s stupid.

Burgers and hot dogs and potato salad and baked beans and fruit pizza later (none of which I got pictures of), we were all stuffed and moved on to other rainy day activities. Like seeing who could drink the most beer. And fireworks. Linda and I put on our best “make the most of it” faces and lit sparklers in the rain. The boys decided to pout inside.

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615Then Linda introduced me to these amazing snapper popper things. I swear, I was so deprived as a child. Where in the world have these been all my life? I wish now I’d gone out and bought more, because I can see myself needing these next time I’m having a terrible day. Glass of wine and some snapper poppers and I’ll be all set.

The aftermath of the snapper poppers. Jimmie walked outside the next morning and yelled "what the hell?!" I had no idea what the big deal was.

The aftermath of the snapper poppers. Jimmie walked outside the next morning and yelled “what the hell?!” I had no idea what the big deal was.

Eventually the boys came outside and we had a good bit of fireworks fun. After wearing that one out, it was time for board games and Drink Phrase (Catch Phrase made into a drinking game – let me tell you, it’s classic), and then on to Strip Pictionary, which isn’t quite what it sounds like. But it was incredibly fun and kept us occupied for hours.

Strip Pictionary. When playing with boys, be prepared for lots and lots of penis drawings.

Strip Pictionary. When playing with boys, be prepared for lots and lots of penis drawings.

And that was more or less the 4th. We had fun.

So the 5th was Birthday Night. Of course this meant we had to get all dressed up, so Linda came over early and we played and posed and talked about how much we missed Lydia (who was dying with not-flu and couldn’t come play). And so we took pictures for her:

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And then we were off! First stop – Downtown Grill and Brewery for happy hour and dinner. Where I drank either 4 or 5 (I honestly lost track) $2 margaritas. Yup.

OH —- AND LISTEN TO THIS!!!

So Jimmie goes to the bar to get a $2 beer, and the bartender, who’s a GUY, looks at his ID, sees that his birthday is in 4 days, and gives him a free drink. Nice, right?

Arriving late to the party as usual (because I just had to try on the super cute but really uncomfortable shoes in Urban Outfitters) Linda and I make our way to the bar for $2 margaritas. I hand over my ID, bartender looks at it a little too long, hands it back, and says “That’ll be 2 bucks.” ARE YOU KIDDING ME? But I’m playing nice, so I just hand over my cash and pay for Linda’s cause she’s digging and she can owe me one. So she tells the bartender, “oh how nice, and I should be buying her drink cause her birthday is TOMORROW.” And shit bartender is all like “Oh, Happy Birthday” and hands me my change and turns around.

So I didn’t tip him.

Anyway, 3 or 4 more margaritas later, we decided to try a new place and make a beer crawl out of it. One beer in each place. Started with some tavern across the street, where Linda and I wisely decided to skip the beers and enjoy our margarita halos a little longer. 2013-07-06_1373071269Not that the beers weren’t good – they were – but we needed to pace ourselves, right? Right. Next stop, The Casual Pint, where we drank beers and forgot to get pictures. And also decided we were the hottest girls in the place. Which was strange, because it actually was pretty awesome in there – well, ok, so the atmosphere sucked, but the beer selection was great. Although they did lose points because there was no birthday beer here either.

We were going to go to the Peter Kern Library because I’d managed to convince Linda it was cool, and the guys weren’t going to let us wander around dark alleys in downtown by ourselves at this point (how chivalrous!). The cool factor was definitely dampened when instead of buzzing in under the red light, we found an open door and a line waiting to get in. Boo. I lost major street cred on that one, I think.

Back to Market Square, where we decided Soccer Taco sounded like a great plan. The boys were not thrilled with this plan, but gave in when they saw there was a bar. I just wanted a taco. Which I got, and which was delicious. So here we go, waltzing in to the strangest looking Mexican Sports Bar I’ve ever seen (not that I’ve seen many), and there’s a grumpy waiter who STILL does not give me a free drink. He did, however, present me with the largest beer I’ve ever seen.

Smart cookie that I am, by this point I realized my own limitations and sweetly requested a straw.

Smart cookie that I am, by this point I realized my own limitations and sweetly requested a straw.

No joke, the thing was the size of my head. Or at least my face. Jimmie thinks it’s just because the glass looked like a fishbowl that I think it’s the biggest beer I’ve ever seen, but I’m not convinced. Annnnyyyway……we drank our beers, ate our tacos, I took more pictures, and then we headed home.

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You didn’t believe me about the straw. BAM!

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It’s blurry, but I like it anyway

643646But it still wasn’t over. Oh no. Because first we had to sing at the top of our lungs on the car ride home (and no, I was NOT driving – someone more sober than me was). To the Goo Goo Dolls. And Ke$ha. Cause we’re awesome.

I think we came home and played more Drink Phrase. I’m honestly a little fuzzy on the rest of the evening, but I do have these….2013-07-06_1373084868And then there’s this conversation:

L: We totally did gangnam style btw.
C: OH MY GOD I FORGOT THAT.
L: And what’s funnier is that Richard was sober and did it with us. I love that you forgot that. You did it well!
C: That’s a terrifying thought.
L: Your subconscious knows how to gangnam style. Your drunkconscious. Where on earth was Jimmie while we did this though?
C: I think he came down the hallway and did it with us.
L: Wow we are so in college.

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how I ended up with bronchitis for my birthday.

Ok, so technically I didn’t get bronchitis for another 2 days, but this is where it all started. I’m sure of it. Because I seriously have bronchitis. AND THEY DIDN’T EVEN GIVE ME DECENT COUGH SYRUP.

And someone still owes me a free birthday drink.